fighting eyes and drowning hearts.
They told me I was too young. "You should never have had to go through that," they'd say. But their words felt empty. Echoing through the nothing of my pathetic existence. It happened. And the eternal scar burns into my soul every damn day that I breathe and my heart beats.
You're okay.
You're okay.
You're okay.
Look in my eyes and you'll know I'm not. My eyes scream in tired desperation. A crippled prayer of a once beautiful insomniac. I long for the touch I can feel. And the hearts I can touch without breaking.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
It wasn't supposed to be this way.
And I don't want to think of your wrists. Or my wrists. Or the kite strings underneath. I just want to cut free. I want to flyyy. Feel the breath in my lungs and the sun on my skin.
But most of all, I'm afraid of my reflection; my skin that my soul so desperately clings to. Because the pain of the skin that isn't really mine is crushing the life out of me. It's like I'm drowning. I'm drowning. I'm...drowning. But I can see everyone around me. Staring. Breathing.
You watched me fall apart, but you didn't see me struggle. So undress me with your words and kiss my bones with your lies. Because I'm trapped inside my own mind. And out of all the people who could of ripped me to shreds...it had to be you.
The scars are a story. And behind this smile is everything you'll never understand.
"A crippled prayer of a once beautiful insomniac."
ReplyDeleteThose words echoed so painfully true for me.
I really loved "You watched me fall apart, but you didn't see me struggle. So undress me with your words and kiss my bones with your lies. Because I'm trapped inside my own mind. And out of all the people who could of ripped me to shreds...it had to be you."
I have read this like a million times and I love it even more than the time before...that rhymed :) Anyways.... you my friend are just amazing! Ugh freak! why do you have to be so good at life?!?!?!
ReplyDeleteYou write so beautifully, it makes me cry, which you know it takes a lot for me to cry.
The picture and the words combined make a master piece. You are truly an artist.
This is so perfect. I love your writing.
ReplyDeleteAlso your groovehsark music list is quite perfect as well.
I love this. Thank you for your comment. I will not stop writing. Just promise me you never will either...
ReplyDeleteLove, Alex/Zack
You have no idea what this means to me. I've been struggling with a lot of things lately...writing included. And this was a huge comfort and reassurance to me. Thank you so much. And I promise to never stop...
DeleteYou are amazing.