SCARED as H E L L .

I'm scared of this.

 

I swallow my heart as the fear sinks into my soul. Slithering through my veins and tickling my insides. (deep breaths, deep breaths.) ....so many fears. They're hiding in my rib cage, and shaking my bones. But they're starting to slowly slip out...stinging and burning.

(inhale. exhale.)

 

I'm scared of me.

I'm scared of my reflection.

I'm scared of the scars that drip from my fingers telling stories that no one should ever hear...

I'm scared of the burning hole in the floor where my heart fell.

I'm scared to pick up my heart and see the imperfections.

I'm scared of beautiful things, and beautiful people.

I'm scared of letting go.

I'm scared of walking away, because I don't know what will happen when I'm gone.

I'm scared of my eyes, and having you look at them, in them...

Then you'd see my soul, how dark and dying it is.

But then maybe you'd start loving me.

Just maybe...

I'm scared that you stole my soul when you kissed me.

And that you won't ever kiss me again.

I'm scared of the rainstorms inside myself.

That make my mind wet and drippy.

I'm scared to admit that the butterflies went missing(I think they died).

And I didn't go looking for them.

I'm scared that the reason I'm shivering cold is because

I-I love-I love you with every fiber of my being and deep in my bones.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I'm scared of being warm, because that would mean it's all gone.

The love, the pain, and you.

You'd be gone.

But I'm scared of you.

Of loving you.

I'm scared that you'll be the only one that ever made me feel. Even if I did have to bleed and bruise a little to get there.

I'm scared of my heart.

And I'm scared of looking, because I might see something beautiful.

I'm scared to look at your flaws,
because I'll fall in love all over again.

And I'm scared that my heart is trying to push you away; to forget you. But my bones won't let it...

I'm scared as Hell.